Besides ‘Selamat Hari Raya’, the 3 next most “favourite” word that you would hear very very often is ‘Bila Nak Kahwin?’ (or ‘When’s your turn’?). I think all of you have been asked at least once, right? 
And the funny thing is, it doesn’t have to be in relation to any topic. At all. It can just pop up anywhere (kind of like an irritating pimple… but that’s another story). It’s so strange but that phrase is one of those things that can just be asked at any time.
Like, if your aunt is talking about where she bought her gold from (tingkat dua, tepi tangga), she can just turn to you (& without missing a breath) ask, ‘Awak bila nak kahwin?’ ['When are you getting married?]. Sometimes (& most times) it’s not even blended into a conversation.
‘Selamat Hari Raya! Jemputlah masuk! Wah, dah besar anak Usop eh! Bila nak kahwin?’
You know it’s coming but it still catches you off guard for abit. It’s the head-on collision that you can’t miss. Every year, my escape route has always been to give a sheepish smile & move on to the next person.
This year, I thought I should come up with new ways to give a non-answer. I figured since I can’t give them what they want to hear, at least I’ll keep them curiously amused!
Here are some lines you can use if someone asks you: Bila Nak Kahwin? [When's Your Turn?]
[Disclaimer: Usage of these words are very much allowed although positive responses from the makciks & pakciks are not guaranteed. There is no intention to be rude or sarcastic, merely having a little fun with an unchangeable reality. The trick is to always say it with a big smile. ]
1. Ask them back, ‘When was yours?’ (with a very sweet smile).
2. ‘Ish, selagi cik tanya, selagi itu lah saya tak kahwin-kahwin.’ ['The more you ask, the longer it'll take for me to get married.']
3. ‘Saya tengah save, tapi sedia terima segala sedikit derma.’ (make a ‘muka-kesian’ face here) ['I'm saving up, but I accept donations.']
4. ‘Oh, saya tengah tunggu anak cik kahwin dulu!’ (I have heard someone use this before) ['Oh, I'm waiting for your children to get married first!']
5. ‘Lagi 4 bulan! Tapi kalau cik tak dapat kad, tak jadi lah tu’. (hurhur) ['In 4 months time! But if you don't get the invite, it means we cancelled'.]
6. Distract them with a lot of nonstop talking. ‘Wah your house is lovely! Where are the kids? How are the cats? So many kuihs, which one did you make? Did you know they’re playing Cicakman 2 on Hari Raya…’
7. Push it to someone else. ‘Jangan tanya saya cik! Tu abang saya belum lagi, tanya lah dia!’ (Quite efficient too, I must say). [ 'Don't ask me! Ask my brother, he's not married yet too!']
8. ‘Tak lama lagi tu agaknyer.’ (Say it with a straight face & in that serious tone. It’s the same phrase that we use for when someone does something out of the norm, hurhur).
9. ‘Tengah tunggu emak jodohkan.’ ['Waiting for my mom to arrange for me.']
10. ‘Oh, I haven’t look through the applicants yet. Anak cik nak fill in application form?’
11. ‘Hmmm, what an interesting question. Interesting sekali.’ (… & slowly walk away in ponder)
12. & this one is my most favourite: ‘I’m waiting for sponsors, would you like to be mine?’
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If you can’t beat them, then the only thing left to do is entertain them!
Thankfully, there are plenty of other wonderful things about the Eid celebrations that will keep you well on your toes too (in a good way of course)!
On that note, Have a Happy Hari Raya everyone! May this holiday fill you with lots of love, wealth, great great food, wonderful catch-ups & fulfilling events.
Don’t stop laughing!
Your Sidekicks,
Mudd & Nadd
P.s. Share with us, what other lines do you use on your relatives? 
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